____.crazysexycool

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 18:32:25 GMT

ella
tk
now
...
Pearl has told me to talk so i guess i must do!!
What to say.
mmmm
I dunno
So much has happened
I wont go in to it now
Apart from SEX IS GOOD!!
So if you get the jist from that
Well done to you!
Life is good
LIfe is sometimes bad
BUt hey nothing is perfect
Im surviving in this fucked up world!
Maybe i dont have exactly what or who i want
BUT i will get it eventually!
Or so i hope...
Wellim not going to give up on hope am i?
Right love to you all
You gorgeous amazing puppies out there
Kisses and love to you all
And extra ones for the people who deseve them!
xxxxxxxxxxx

panda...

Sat, 16 Jul 2005 10:41:51 GMT

Thank you Pearl...
You have given me hope
I hope one day you will reach the point of perfection you want and even if you don't you to me are incredibly beautiful and i couldn't ask for a better friend.
Now all i wish is that you are right.
which i'm sure you are.
I will find someone good enough.
I love you
xxxxxxxxxx

Tue, 05 Jul 2005 20:23:10 GMT

HELLO ALL!!!
I didn't go to school today
I don't know why...prehaps because i'm Pearls 'lap dog' apparently. Ahhh well whatever i can't be fucked to care what people say. Not when i have had vodka.
VODKA=SHOTS=TIPSY=DRUNK (im nt drunk though jsut on da verge!)
Thanks to harriet! A KISS FOR YOU IS NEEDED! lol
ANYWAY, i spent the day at skys insted... me,pearl,sky n harriet
Sky being 'it' and it and harriet being 'them'
ANYHOOO thank you sky for letting ys be there. If anyone wanders she did NOT i repeat she did NOT incorage it in ANYWAY what so ever!
love everyone, wel everyone that deserves to be loved
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tue, 05 Jul 2005 19:54:34 GMT

DRUNK...

HAPPI...

pearl...

LOVE...

SMILE....

Kiss...

Oli...

Ryan...

FUN...

Juuuuude...

Wanting...wishing for a happy ending to this fairytale

Fri, 01 Jul 2005 16:06:50 GMT

Hello All

I'm at the lurvly faye's house. She is a very sassy lady indeed(right now she is doing a sexy dance to basment jaxx):p!

My good old friend Rachel told me to be a little more selfish. So, i have decided that i must put myself before others a bit more. I always put my friends first, thier happiness before mine. From now on i'm going to try and make myself a little happier. There is only so much of other peoples shit i can take.

From now on... a new start

I'd also like to mention Sky and Harriet...who are two AMAZING people and a very GORGEOUS couple. I'm so glad that you got together. All i'm going to say is...1. Be good and 2.Don't mess eachother around. *gives you both a kiss of luck*

xxxxx

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 19:24:25 GMT

If your life is like mine

full of misery and hate

then slit your wrists 10cm in

and bury yourself 6 foot under...

Thats what she said and she ment it.

Every word.

memories

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 18:36:32 GMT

Iv'e once again had a fantastic weekend. Friday was spent with many amazing people. Who all make me smile and make a dull and dreary life seem all the more exciting. As much fun as i had i will not go into it as i must tell you about saturday. Satuday brought back many happy memories for me. I spent the day at my old school with my old friends, wel i call them old but really they are still my friends. It was as if i was back at primary school care free and unaware of the big world and its problems that one day we all have to face. Everyone had changed so much but we all got on so well even after the one or two years we had not seen eachother. There was one person in particular who i really wished to see,Oscar. He was my old obsession and i have so many old memories attached to him, all of which are positive and full of happiness. I don't have one bad memory of him. Prehaps i'm getting too obessesive again. Prehaps I should stop this before i get in too deep but deep down i know nothing will happen. Will it? We have to much history behind us, we are too good a friends. We both have new people in our lives that we don't want to let go.

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 17:23:00 GMT

love...It can't be described in words. Well, maybe it can. What do you think? Let me know.

I was thinking of someone as i always do and i thought that this person deserved to have this entry dedicated to them. My brain used to be taken over by one person but then one day you came. You saved me. You, to me a knight in shinning armour. I was hurting and i was breaking, in some ways prehaps i still am but slowly i'm moving on... you've helped me to do that. I couldn't have done it without you. I'd just like to say that i have so much respect for you and i'm NOT going anywhere, unless you want be to dissapear because if so i will go. I'm thinking of you Steve(my monkey!)

Ella

mwahz

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

stalkers...

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 16:10:06 GMT

Why can't they just leave me alone
All i want is for them to go away
I don't want to have sex with them
Can't their small little brains see that
They feel like shit inside
They want me to heal the pain
But it won't work
I know it won't
I'm not special enough
I don't even won't to
They can't force me...
JUST FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME

Sun, 19 Jun 2005 17:39:25 GMT

I'd just like to apologise for the last two entries because i do realize that i was completly out of it. |Right now i'm feeling kinda sick due to mine n pearls revision tactic... eating a whole loada chocolate! The weather is hot though and i'm in the presence of pearl n safiya. They make me smile n happi so i'm feeling goodxxx

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 18:14:02 GMT

I will look after him...

I will take care of him...

I want to help...

Not only him but YOU...

I love you as my friend

I love him as my lover

xxxx

DRUNKENESS!!

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 01:01:26 GMT

heya all

i'm at conceptas house and it's fucking amazing. This is taking ALOT of concentration as i'm sooo freking drunk right now. I LOVE YA'LL(sky,con,roxy,alex,kate n pearl) They have made me the happiest person alive this evening. I'm drunk but hey who cares. I LOVE EVERYONE AND IT'S ALL GOOOOOD!! sky-you don't know how much i love you and i alwayz will.I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. Steve-you will be there and i want to be there too. I'm not 'in' love with you yet but i will be soon. To help you out. Kate-Your fucking beautifull. Con- You are an amaing human being and you are amazingly confident in yourself. Roxy-i can't live without you. Alex-Get in there. Pearl-(all over con's bed) You are so completely and amazingly incredible. GET IN THERE!!

Peace out BABEZ!!

love you all

couldn't live without you

I WANNA KISS YOU

mwah mwah mwah xxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

food food food

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 19:54:07 GMT

i've just been out to eat... wel i while a ago and i ate LOADS! Now i feel sick and i hate it. I feel so full i just want to throw it all up. I've been eating too much lately and i dont like it. I just want it all to come up and out of me. I dont want to scare people though, I love food...i love food...i love food.

dream as if tou'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 17:13:27 GMT

heyheyhey!!

Im happy. Not as happy as i was yesterday but im still happy. Happy with life. Happy as a person. Happy happy happy days. No im not on anything im just happy which is a good thing because so many people are suffering and hurting so i thought do ya no what ella your life is so good and you have so much. Be happy. So here i am being happy, thinking positivly about life. As they say dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today!

love ella xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS.. SENDING OUT MY LOVE 2 STEVE,SKY,PEARL N ROXY BCUZ I LUV EM ALL N DEY ALL MAKE ME SO HAPPY

happy times!!

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 17:40:24 GMT

I've made a few big mistakes in my life and when you make them you have to live with them after. At the time it seems easy and simple and your happy but then you realize the consequences and of course you have to deal with them. Thats when it starts to hurt because you are suddenly so unhappy...It's hard but you have to deal with it. I guess what i'm trying to say is that life goes on, fix the mistakes you've made and try and learn from them. Become a wiser, better person because of it. This weeekend i've been happier than i've been in a long while, imean i havn't been that depressed as such i've been more confussed. I've felt like my brain had come to a stand still and only one person in this world could make me feel good about myslef and fix me but then i realized that i was living a fantasy. It would never happen the one i wanted would never come to save me. I was living my own fairytale inside my head. Finally i have snapped out of it. I'm back to being the person i am...the person i should be. I'm now on a mission to find someone to make me feel loved again. I think that is what i really need. I think i've found someone who needs me... or prehaps i just want him but i will see. I will just have to wait. Pearl has found Alex which has given me confidence to get out there, all you have to do is look in to thier eyes to see how amazing they feel together, I admit i'm a little jelous but it will soon pass as i love pearl and alex is a fantastic guy. She needs him. Anyway i should be happy that me n kates 'toilet' plan worked:p!! (us two are soooo dam cleva!) I think i should tell you about my weekend now seeing as it's been fantastic...It's been a journey! WOOOO! So...Friday night i spend with some amazing people. I have to mention one in particular. Kate. She is wonderful and me n her had a very 'deep' convosation together while looking at the sky. Kate is just one of those people you have just got to love and even better her dress sense is wiked!! Also with us was con,kat,pearl,sky n alex. Wonderful time at the park was had! Then the next day went to broony's party which was all good. I did try to dance and i have to say i think i'm getting better... wel i think so anyay!! The new couple were also there having to put up with everyones *awwww your'e soooo sweet together* poor sods! Then the wonderful roxy n pearl slept over and more fun was had... now at 5.35 i'm alone again as my two darlings have gone but the thing is i don't feel so alone anymore which is fantabbytastic beacuse feeling alone isn't good for your health! I do crave steve though, He's my monkey :) n even after a week apart from him i can still taste his tounge and lips in my mouth but i tell you one thing it does taste good... Me n him that was an amazing day... I wil leave you on that note darlings! Ella xxx

helllllllllo

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 13:52:36 GMT

hello!!!!

RED suposedly the colour of love and romance... Wel not for me but anyway lets not get into that random and useless shit. I am here to tell everything because i think writing things down helps you to sort out your head and right now my brain is pretty FUCKED up!!! I will not get into it now as im happi and i dnt want to get all emo on you. SO HEYA PEEPS!! feel free to coment as i will be coming here alot n writing whats in my head. Ciao for now xxxxxxxxxxx